johnny come lately
2003-11-06 - 4:13 p.m.

Sometimes I get so tired that I can't keep my eyes open. And I know that doesn't sound so strange but I'm talking falling asleep in the middle of a sentence or eating or a shower. This used to happen last April before the respiratory failure and the ICU and the trache and the vent. After a few sleep studies and other respiratory treatments, they found that my CO2 (carbon dioxide) level was way too high so for some reason that makes your body kind of shut down. Its the weirdest feeling and also annoying because I can't focus on any one thing without my eyelids shutting out the world. And I feel my body just be exhausted and try to relax and stop working but I won't let it.

So I shout; literally. My family walks around the house yelling things like "YEAH! WOOO!" or perhaps "UGGHH! GOOOOO AMY!" and a lot more of "YEAH!! HOLY COW!!!" , with a few nondescript whistles thrown in there. It helps me to blow off some of the CO2 and makes my eyelids a little bit lighter. It does work for a little while.