well don't that just beat all?
2004-01-05 - 9:12 p.m.

Bennly came over last night, partly to give me a Christmas present, but also to say our goodbyes for a while. We had good conversations about bats and snakes and angel wings and his family. I’m usually not a good conversationalist (which I see as one of my biggest downfalls) but it went fine and it was really good to just talk a long time to someone you haven’t seen in what seems like forever. I love that he brings me these Japanese fashion items with random slogans and drawings that have nothing to do with each other, its great. He’s good at shopping for me.

Our families are really close; we’ve known them just a few years but we all feel like we’re related, or should be. I’ve found some good friendship in these people. Before Ben left, my dad made us put on hats and make dumb faces while he took pictures of us. I always try to pose differently in pictures but usually just end up looking silly – in the not cute and endearing way.

I wish the weather would figure out how it wants to act and stay that way for maybe just a few days. It makes my respiratory system go all nuts and give me troubles. I used to love the winter and the rush you get when you step outside and the cold air smacks you in the face and by reflex you utter “Ooosh!”. But now that I have tubes giving me breaths instead of my warm lungs, the fresh cold air doesn’t quite have that romantic feel anymore. Its hard to explain what it feels like when the tubes get cold, but it just makes me so cold my bones even feel cold and it takes forever to get warm again. It’s a great feeling to sit in front of the fireplace and feel the heat on my nose and cheeks but if I did that now, since I’m using oxygen and all, I would sort of… blow up. Oops.